Pendulum Personality Disorder

It's been a topsy-turvy day of emotion!

I hate the type of people that commit to things and then bail at the last minute...Unfortunately, that's what I did tonight to my friend Jill. I told her I would ride hill repeats tonight at 6:00pm. In fact, I actually invited myself to join her training group! Unfortunately, because of some deadlines at work that I'm currently not meeting because I had to quickly vent my frustrations right now, I had to call Jill at 6:00pm to tell her I was still at my f*cking desk. J--I'm so sorry. I'm just glad that you were already meeting others there and you weren't dependent on my arrival to do the workout. I hate people who do what I did! I'm a bundle of frustration at the moment!

Last night and this morning started off smashingly. Last night, I actually rode with my friend Cathy in the Barton Hills neighborhoods. We did our own sets of hills repeats up some steep climbs in her neighborhood. We had a blast (except for the MAX HR moments). We used to be roommates and we both do triathlons, so she and I would train a lot together. Over the last year, we haven't trained much together because of various scheduling conflicts and differing training schedules. In any event, we rode for about 45 minutes and just had a good time catching up and going up, and up and up. I was pleasantly surprised how well I was getting up the hills. I even did an extra repeat after Cathy announced she was toast. Afterward, we headed to Maudie's for some sloppy Tex Mex and a margarita. Good times, Good times...

This morning, I met some Gazelle runners at 5:45am and we went for a slow 7 mile recovery run (9:35 pace). It actually felt wonderful to be running --mostly because we were all sharing our own personal Boston Marathon moments. Just reliving it pumped me up again.

Things started rolling slightly downhill when the workday commenced. Three meetings kept me tied up and away from copywriting and production. I did finally sneak out of the office at 2pm and went for a quick swim...GRRRRRRRRR...My goal was to swim for 1 mile. I'll be damned if I didn't have the worst swim EVER. Absolutely no rhythm...labored breathing...slow and choppy...HOW FRUSTRATING! And just like that, I was humbled right back into the "you suck" toilet bowl. I quit, self-defeated, after 1/2 mile and said, "Screw it." I go back and forth about hiring a swim coach. Back in Feb, I took a clinic with a great group in Austin and was making definite improvements. I didn't continue in March or April for Marathon training reasons. I'm thinking about rejoining in May and June. Now, I'm just too paranoid about being slow and uncoordinated! It's almost as if I'm too nervous and scared that I'm going to be the worst person in the class and won't be able to keep up. For whatever reason, swimming brings out the most irrational childish fears in me. The other obvious factor is $$$. I pay for a monthly gym membership, I pay for my running coach. Do I really need to pay for one more thing?? By the same token, I don't spend money frivilously on anything else. I'm not a clothes shopper...I don't spend needless money on food or drinks...I live completely within my means. Therefore, it's money well-spent because it's money on ME and my well-being. I have friends that probably spend more on cigarettes than I would on a swim coach. There--I justified it.

I was hoping to redeem myself on the hills tonight with Jill. She's riding so well these days and I've been sporadic on that training as well. I was looking forward to being with a group tonight to gauge where I'm at with the cycling portion of the puzzle that is "triathlon training." It will have to wait another day...

I also got some really cool news that I'll expand upon tomorrow. I was asked to give a motivational/humorous talk at the City of Austin Headquarters on Friday to a bunch of City Employees who have been training for the Texas Roundup 10k taking place this weekend! There are about 200 city employees who took part in a training program to complete this 10k. Most are overweight, unhealthy and have never done ANYTHING like this before. However, after the training, they are all pumped up and nervous about the race. I get to tell my story of the last four years and hopefully provide a little more inspiration before they run. I'm sooooo incredibly honored and excited to have been asked. Last year, my Coach Gilbert did the speech. I don't know how you top his story, but I'll do my best.

Workouts:
7 mile run at 9:35 pace
1/2 mile swim in 20:21 (gross...yuck...disgusting) I really want to be in the 17-18 min range.

Nutrition:

5:30am 1/2 w.w. tortilla with PBJ
9:30am homeade breakfast taco on w.w. tortilla with egg beaters, soy cheese, sun dried tomatoes and spinach
12pm couple of pita chips
3pm Soba Miso bowl from Pei Wei: Buckwheat noodles, veggies, tofu