About Me

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Austin, Texas, United States
I'll make you laugh, or break my neck trying. This is usually accomplished with daily bouts of swimming, biking and running. A former "chub-a-holic," I got fit and healthy the good old fashioned way and went from a mid-pack athlete to top age group runner and triathlete. I'm a Writer and USAT Level 1 Certified Triathlon Coach. I guess that makes me part Tina Fey and part Jillian Michaels. Visit my coaching site at www.fomotraining.com

Friday, November 09, 2007

Bud Light Presents...Real Men of Genius

We all know one of these people...They're everywhere. They're the type of person that tops everything that you do no matter what you say! If you ran a marathon, they ran a 100 miler (in the same time that you ran a marathon). If you dropped a cabinet on your toe, they ran smack dab into a fire hydrant at full speed and kept going. If you were in the army, they were in the super-secret special forces CIA-Mafia gang. Apparently, this super-dude exists and I got to hear all about him during my run on Wednesday morning.

So today, I salute you...Mr. Over-Achiver Topper Balls of Steel Runner Guy.

Big Voice Guy: Bud Light Presents…Real Men of Genius

(singer) “Real Men of Genius”

Big Voice Guy: We salute you, “Mr. Over-Achiever Topper Balls of Steel Runner Guy”

(singer) “Mr. Over-Achiever Topper Balls of Steel Runner Guy”

Big Voice Guy: In the darkness of night, you bound like a gazelle and run smack dab into a fire hydrant at full speed and still vow to finish your training run even though your voice now sounds like a 5-year-old boy.

(singer) “Ouch-My Jewels”

Big Voice Guy: And in the midst of pain, shortness of breath and the usual bouts of nausea that follow getting your boys racked, you drudge forward and will not be stopped.

(singer)” Just call me Hercules”

Big Voice Guy: Days later you are in the midst of a 100-mile running race -because you can- only to stop half-way through because you don’t want to overtrain for your next Marathon. No wonder why people say you’re “nuts.”

(singer) “100 miles is a long way to run even for a badass like me”

Big Voice Guy: And then, in order not to become bored with your mediocre humanity, you jet off on some secret mission in the dessert to learn how to fight terrorists for the U-S-of-A.

(singer) “This is all Bush’s fault.”

Big Voice Guy: So crack open a Bud light Oh Master of Steel Kahunas and Superior Being overall all normalcy because you just gave new meaning to the term IRON MAN. We Salute You,

(singer) Mr. Over-Achiever Topper Balls of Steel Runner Guy


1HappyAthlete said...

Too funny

Red said...

Oh My God, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying...get me the Depends!

Mike said...


Anonymous said...

seriously, you need to be a comedy writer. you are hilareous! nicely done.