THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
It's hard to believe it's only been a week and 2 days since the hip surgery. In one respect, it feels like forever since I've been a slave to the couch and the CPM machine. By the same token, I'm amazed at my activity level in the last week. I can't thank my friends and family enough for being here physically and emotionally. I'm grateful for the visits, phone messages, emails, texts from people who are "in the neighborhood" and want to know if I need anything, the food deliveries, the chauffeurs who stop by and take me to lunch and to doctor's appointments and hubster for the wonderful anniversary afternoon of food, shopping and picnicking. It may be hotter than hell already, but just getting out of the house feels like a mini-retreat. In the last week, I've been able to venture out to do a lap on the track (with crutches, of course), Whole Foods a couple of times, lunch with former co-workers, and I even got out to meet my T3 group last night for the unveiling of our Ironman Coeur D'Alene video from 2009. Ironic that I was gearing up for an Ironman one year ago and now I'm not allowed to put weight on my leg. Actually, it was about this time last year that I was going to see Dr. Sellers complaining of numbness and pain in my quad/hip flexor region. Today, I get to get out of the house again and head to my very first official physical therapy appointment. Needless to say, I'm grateful for any opportunity to move and make forward progress.
I've checked off a lot of those "when I have some free time" projects too this past week...catching up on shows, magazines, blogs, emails and other non-essentials that can clutter our existence. I've written three articles this week for Livestrong.com and I'm thinking ahead and mentally manifesting goals and dreams for 2011. Lord knows, I have plenty of time to visualize, reach out to mentors, and do some goal-setting meditations.
Man, it sounds like I've had the most amazing week of catching up and regrouping. It has been wonderful, but I have to be honest, I also catch myself getting a little down and suffering a bit of anxiety. As an intrinsically self-motivated person, it really is difficult to just "be" and not "do." There are some moments when I slip into a bit of a panic..."I'm not doing enough...I'm lazy...I'm getting fat...I'm not contributing...people are judging me...I'm judging myself...I should be working...I should be doing SOMETHING..." I believe they call it good old-fashioned GUILT. While I'm essentially on my butt all day, hubster is getting up, going to work, saving a few lives, coming home, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and fetching things for me when I ask. I know I've reached my tolerance level, but I keep thinking he'll hit his limit any moment now. Does any of this sound familiar? I suppose that's why, even now, I still create a daily "to-do" checklist. At the end of the day, I like to know that I'm accomplishing something...Even if that something is simply taking a shower.
So, needless to say, it's been a topsy-turvy week of emotion. For the rest of the world, it's a much-needed three day weekend. For me, it's three more days of recovery. The Capital of Texas Triathlon is this weekend so I hope to get out and spectate. Nothing will inspire me more.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
I've checked off a lot of those "when I have some free time" projects too this past week...catching up on shows, magazines, blogs, emails and other non-essentials that can clutter our existence. I've written three articles this week for Livestrong.com and I'm thinking ahead and mentally manifesting goals and dreams for 2011. Lord knows, I have plenty of time to visualize, reach out to mentors, and do some goal-setting meditations.
Man, it sounds like I've had the most amazing week of catching up and regrouping. It has been wonderful, but I have to be honest, I also catch myself getting a little down and suffering a bit of anxiety. As an intrinsically self-motivated person, it really is difficult to just "be" and not "do." There are some moments when I slip into a bit of a panic..."I'm not doing enough...I'm lazy...I'm getting fat...I'm not contributing...people are judging me...I'm judging myself...I should be working...I should be doing SOMETHING..." I believe they call it good old-fashioned GUILT. While I'm essentially on my butt all day, hubster is getting up, going to work, saving a few lives, coming home, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and fetching things for me when I ask. I know I've reached my tolerance level, but I keep thinking he'll hit his limit any moment now. Does any of this sound familiar? I suppose that's why, even now, I still create a daily "to-do" checklist. At the end of the day, I like to know that I'm accomplishing something...Even if that something is simply taking a shower.
So, needless to say, it's been a topsy-turvy week of emotion. For the rest of the world, it's a much-needed three day weekend. For me, it's three more days of recovery. The Capital of Texas Triathlon is this weekend so I hope to get out and spectate. Nothing will inspire me more.
Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
3 comments:
Guilt? You? Catholic Carrie? Shocking.
But I totally get it. An open weekend is torture for me, and any time I have an injury my psycho mind starts to wonder whether I will ever get well (not that I was all that athletic even before the boo boo).
Some day soon, we'll all go for a run again.
I am a race director myself...more a runner than a triathlete, but did dive into it last year (no pun intended). I am waiting for my hip stress fracture to heal so I can have athroscopic surgery, hopefully in July. I have enjoyed reading your blog. It is encouraging.
You will get through this challenge too!! I know how hard it is to have that non-weight-bearing burden and it's going to be a doozie when the pt finally takes the crutches away and says "okay, stand on it." That completely freaked me out. In the mean time, try scooting the laundry basket across the floor with the end of your crutch--just don't let Shawn catch you. Be well.
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