My Body's Punch List

When hubster and I were building our house, the blue "punch list" tape was our best friend. In fact, after three years, I still find a piece of blue tape every now and then. Anywhere there was a paint mistake, scuff mark, carpenter error, or other blemish, we slapped a piece of blue tape next to it so that the appropriate worker would eventually fix the error.

My body has become a palette of blue tape recently.

I don't know if it works, but the blue "punch list" tape makes my leg feel better

God knows there are plenty of blemishes to fix on my little house. Dr. Brown at Austin Sports Therapy has been doing some serious ART on my legs, hips and back. As my friend Muna so eloquently pointed out (in a time when I needed it most), I'm still recovering from the actual procedure itself. The injury has been fixed and the aches and pains probably have more to do with the incisions, cameras, instruments and traction table that ripped and pulled a lot of my right leg out of it's hip socket. Pleasant thought, eh?

In any event, the blue kinesio/rock tape isn't just to make people feel sorry for me (although it works). It is there as a reminder that there are still things that are under construction and constantly need "touched up."

Still Some Repair Work to be Done on this Leg

Time Heals All Wounds...It Better

Remember the first time you had your heart broken? As in, ripped out, stomped on and left for dead?  You never thought you would recover. You never thought you would move past the darkness and depression. I remember it vividly. It still makes me shudder to look back at that shattered girl. Of course, I can also look back and say, "You'll be just fine and you'll be better and stronger than you've ever been before." Thank goodness for growth, humility and a daily dose of TIME. It truly does heal wounds.

My hip is not unlike that first boy that crushed me. Even now, eight weeks post-op, not a day goes by that I don't think about it first thing in the morning and revisit it right before I go to bed. Man, I've been having some good days, so DAMN good days. My mobility is good and my activity level is stellar (at least according to the professionals) for someone who is just two months post-op. I celebrated my first small treadmill runs this week. So, they were in one-minute increments, but I got more endorphins from those small runs than I have from any 20 miler previous to surgery. These are little steps forward out of darkness. They are teasers of normalcy and beacons of hope that I will regain strength and feel "normal" again soon.

But, like the damn ex-boyfriend, every now and again I'll be humbled right back to reality and forced to face the pain and frustration of an injury that just won't quit. I went into PT feeling great yesterday. I even told her my leg was basically feeling normal. Could this be the beginning of the light at the end of the tunnel? Is this the point where I don't wake up and think about it constantly? We had a great, but tough, hour-long session. I did my small treadmill run (this time at full weight), followed by some sliders and right leg "moon jumps" on the pilates reformer. Essentially, by the end of the hour, I had given that hip socket a beating and it paid me dearly for it. I headed directly to ART massage therapy where he worked the hell out of the muscles, tendons, fascia and everything else he does that hurts like a mother.

By the end of the day, my right leg went from feeling "normal" to feeling vengeful. Just like that jerk ex-boyfriend, the burning and stabbing pain in my groin progressed throughout the day reminding me of who is still in charge. Naturally, I went to bed last night lamenting about this endless loop of hope followed by frustration. The little victories followed by the kicks in the teeth.

I know this is all a part of the healing process. I work it hard and it hurts. Of course, that's natural like any healthy exercise regime. What scares me is some of the pain I'm experiencing is the exact pain I was feeling before surgery begging the question, "Did the surgery even fix the problem?" And, if not, "What the hell is going on?"  Why does my hamstring still get really tight? Why does my right foot go numb after a long swim session? Why is my hip clicking more than before? Is it possible to have a knife in my groin without me knowing it (because that's certainly what it feels like).

The other side says, "Of course this is natural." Scar tissue is forming and needs to be broken down, nerves are still pissed off from being in traction, muscles are tight, blah, blah, blah...It's only been two months! Take a chill pill and relax.

Experts suggest that it usually takes six months to get over any major loss. Until then, you have to wade through the good and bad days and realize it's all part of the growth and healing process. All I know is that on November 19th, I'm throwing a huge 6-month anniversary party and hoping that I wake up to a nice long training run!!

Happiness is...

As a rehabbing athlete, happiness is having your PT say the word, "Run."
As a writer, happiness is having an editor say, "It looks great!"
As a friend, happiness is having a girlfriend say, "Thanks for listening."
As a wife, happiness is having your husband say, "You Rock."
As a coach, happiness is having your athlete say, "Check out my bloody toe!!"

Hell yes!!  One of my athletes sent me before and after pictures of his jacked up toe last week :-) Woo Hoo!! I love it!  That means he's working hard and his reward will be an empty nail bed when that sucker falls off. Welcome to the Ironman club.

As a triathlete, happiness is going to a race and cheering for friends and hubster who were seriously kicking some tail!

Hubster leaving T2

Holly looking awesome after her race on her new Kestrel!

Me with Christopher and Noah. The future of Triathlon! 

Happy Two Month Anniversary!!

On May 19th, 2010, I went in for a labral tear debridement and repair in my right hip. Two months later, I got to experience my first run! So, it was only for one minute increments at a whopping 10 min mile at only 26lbs of body weight, but it was RUNNING!!!

Excuse me while I do the "happy dance" and try not to re-injure myself. It's time to celebrate the little victories.

Swim Training for Got2Swim 4 Miles for Colin's Hope!

Seriously, the fact that I am about to blog about how much I love swimming lately is just plain weird and scary. I'm actually enjoying it more than I ever imagined. I've had such a wonderful time meeting and connecting with some amazing people as we all train for the Got2Swim 4-Mile Open Water Swim for Colin's Hope. I'm so fortunate and haven't laughed this hard with new friends in a long time. (Although, I suppose it's hard to belly laugh when you're running gut-wrenching 800m repeats on the track!) Selfishly and serendipitously, this event came at the perfect time for the sake of my life, recovery and physical/mental well-being. I guess I feel so blessed because not only are the workouts fulfilling and challenging, but the cause we are swimming for is so vitally important, and so often overlooked.

Last summer, a sweet four-year-old Austin boy named Colin drowned at a popular local health club pool. The details of what happened aren't mine to share, but what it did shine light on was the importance of water safety and security for children--especially in crowded pool areas where there are too many kiddos and sometimes not enough eyeballs to watch them. I didn't realize that drowning was the number one cause of death in children under the age of four. I do now. The money we are raising will go to these programs that aid in preventing children from drowning. Our 4 mile swim is just one of many fundraisers they do throughout the year to promote childhood water safety. Ironically, I know so many adults who are deathly afraid of water because they never learned how to learn to swim as a child. It's so vitally important.

Please consider donating even just a minimal amount to my personal pledge page. I thoroughly appreciate the thought and consideration!

Yesterday, several of us did a 2.4 Mile Open Water Swim sanctioned by Red Licorice Events. For most, it was the farthest they have ever gone. It certainly was the farthest I've gone since Ironman last year--and this one was wetsuit-free. It was certainly a proud moment for all of us!


Fox 7 News recently did a piece on the upcoming event.


Now--onto some of the recent stellar and breathtaking photography of our training swims shot by Lauren Lesley Photography.

Sharing a laugh before kicking off our training swim in Lake Austin

Our crew is flanked by water guardians in kayaks for safety and fuel

I'm not gonna lie...That's me in the pink cap drafting! This ain't my first swimming rodeo :-)

What a gorgeous sunrise over Lake Austin

Our 4 mile swim will start at the 360 Bridge and end at Hula Hut. Margaritas anyone?

Remembering why we're here. www.Colin'sHope.org

Thanks to Clif Bar and TYR for sponsoring this event!

Our fearless leader Alissa talks with the media before our training swim

And my personal fav...a little synchronized swimming practice to "kick" off the training swim.
(this one may or may not have been enhanced just a tad to increase the dramatic effect) :-)

My LAVA Dream Gig

Sometimes, injuries truly are blessings. I'm honored and blessed to be able to officially announce my guest column on the all-new triathlon website and magazine, www.lavamagazine.com. I'll be posting regular pieces about what it's like being a Rookie Coach to athletes who are gunning for their first Half-Ironman this Fall. In my first column here, read how my recent hip surgery and obligatory recovery led to a serendipitous launch to my coaching business! As always, I hope to seek the humorous side of training, coaching, learning, failing and succeeding.  After all, this is supposed to fun, right?  In that case, the fun is just beginning. Congratulations to the staff at Lava Magazine and happy reading to all tri-geeks (present company included) who just simply can't get enough!

Cruisin' in CB

Cruiser bikes are definitely the way to go in this town.

Swimming at 9000 ft

Thanks to a mix-up in our condo rental, we were granted access to the indoor pool at the Crested Butte club! Not too shabby...so, they keep the pool at a balmy 84 degrees. It's bad when you actually feel yourself sweating in the water. Oh, and did I mention that swimming at 9000 ft is like trying to blow up a titanic-sized raft? After my lungs stopped burning, I actually enjoyed a nice slow swim. A swim is a swim, after all!

Another Day of Hiking in Paradise

Another day of hiking in heaven. This is on the way to the aptly-named "Oh Be Joyful" trailhead.

My Healing Hike

This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite spots in earth. It's called Chapel of the Spruces in the Cement Creek Region near Crested Butte. People leave crosses and other mementos. There's even a box with pen/paper to leave your prayer intentions. Fresh flowers adorn the altar and the creek flows behind it. Small benches surround the altar for prayer and meditation. This is a true religious experience.

Heaven on Earth

Sometimes Mother Nature just nails it spot-on

Heading for the Mountains

I can't believe I actually contemplated not going on my annual girl's trip to Colorado. My friend put the word out about three months ago and I almost declined thinking I wouldn't be able to walk or maneuver the hikes. I didn't want to be the perverbial "stick in the mud" who couldn't do anything because of my bad hip. Humorously, I'm the youngest of the group and the one who's had hip surgery. Ah...you gotta laugh at the irony of it all. I'm just so glad my inner voice talked some sense into me about this annual trek up to the mountains. It doesn't matter that I can't go out bounding like I used to do. This trip has become part of my therapy and rehab more than "training at altitude." My love and passion with trail running and hiking started in Colorado about six years ago with that first trip. While my girlfriends were in the condo reading their books or going on a walk, I took every spare moment to lace up the trail shoes and explore the paths around Crested Butte and Crested Butte South. It was my first trip to Colorado and I had never seen such beautiful scenery. I mean, I was and am emotionally, spiritually and physically blown away.

So, needless to say, I'm admittedly a little bummed at the thought that I'll be limited to shorter walks (dare I call them hikes?) on this trip. I won't have the pleasure of renting mountain bikes and crashing into a dirt pile (yep, I've done it).  Still though, I 'll take away from this trip what I always take away from it. Precious time with dear friends, precious time with nature and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude that I get to be the one to bask in all of it...even if I am sitting on a park bench with my walking stick.

Holy Crap, I'm Sue Sylvester

A few weeks ago, my neighbor and a couple of his buddies hired me to train them for the Longhorn 70.3 race in October. This week, I've met them on the bike, at the pool and on the track to do some baseline aerobic testing. It dawned on me this morning that I've become the politically incorrect and somewhat ambiguous Sue Sylvester from "Glee."

They've only seen me in some modified "coachy" outfit consisting of my usual Nike running shorts, Ironman emblazoned shirt and some baseball hat or visor brilliantly disguised to cover my bedhead and makeup-less face.


Pretty soon, I'll be busting out quotes like some of Sylvester's finest:


"I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am."


-or when I become an award winning coach-


"You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent."


-or, if they complain about a workout being too difficult-


You think this hard. I'm passing a gallstone as we speak. That is hard!


Hang on, boys. You're being coached by a tough chick. And you'll like it. 

Peaks and Valleys

I suppose this is the post where I would say that I had a bit of a down week from a physical therapy and rehab standpoint. Now I know what it's like to be a contestant on "The Biggest Loser" who loses 15+lbs week after week, only to have a random "off" week where they drop 5lbs and feel disappointed. That's how I feel my progress has been. I've been making strides, getting stronger and overachieving with my recovery. Unfortunately, with strength comes confidence. In my case, with confidence comes cockiness. I got a little too cocky last week and pushed my hip a bit too much. It could've been the extra five minutes on the bike each day. It could've been the fact that I was actually trying to push some wattage and feel some resistance. It could've been the aggressive PT or the hike at Wild Basin. It could've been the four swims. If resistance was what I wanted, I certainly got it alright-- in the form of a stiff achy hip and a pissed-off nerve. Needless to say, this week was a "recovery" week in my recovery.

Ironically, it was while I was cutting a big slice of humble pie that I was inspired and energized to sign up for this:

May 21, 2011

Yep, hubster and I (and about 30-40 of our closest friends) signed up for the Inaugural Ironman Texas in The Woodlands next year. I'm not sure what is more shocking--the fact that we've signed up for another Full Distance Ironman, or the fact that we signed up for a Full Distance Ironman in HOUSTON. Ugh...at least the Woodlands is a lovely suburb of the dreaded concrete metropolis.

So, while the week had a few valleys to cross, it certainly wasn't without its peaks...and I'm happy to say that I'm getting strong enough to travel across them both.

Turning Circles

This data upload is funny for several reasons:

1.) I actually wore my Garmin to walk two miles on a track.

2.) I averaged a whopping pace of 21:51 per mile when I used to knock out 6:20s.

3.) Going around in circles is as boring and silly as it looks.

4.) It actually categorized my workout as "running." I assure, it was NOT.

5.) What you don't see was even more funny. I was wearing my Vibram Five Fingers.

6.) I'm actually able to walk faster WITH the crutches.

7.) I'm learning how to upload and transfer data from my Garmin making me even more of a dork than I was before.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Recovery...

"Yep, I think it would potentially be something you could train for..."

That was all my PT needed to say, really, to ignite the fire of desire and give me a spark of hope to grasp onto during a pretty bleak moment. It was my initial pre-surgery consultation with her. She knew how frustrating it was to be rendered motionless by doctor's orders. She knew I was an "athlete" and had that typical overdramatic mindset that I was literally "going to die" if I didn't exercise...I admitted my deepest darkest fears of retreating into a world of laziness, queso and vast amounts of belly goo.  I also confessed how difficult it was going to be sitting on the sidelines while everyone else was getting better, faster and stronger. Let's face it. The latter is the most frustrating part of any injury and subsequent recovery.

While in my meeting with her, we talked about races, people we knew in common, philosophies and everything else that goes with the territory. As an aside, she said she was about to start training for a four mile open water swim taking place in September. In an instant, my eyes became the size of saucers. The flash of light went off in front of us. She saw it and, probably in an effort to appease me, said, ""Yep, I think it would potentially be something you could train for..."

A FOUR MILE SWIM??? ME????  Just thinking about it makes me quiver with haunting memories of days gone by. Much of my childhood was spent wearing t-shirts and coverups over my bathing suits so people wouldn't look and point at me. I was the short, chunky tomboy with huge boobs. Awesome. I was the one who was doing cannonballs off the diving board because it got the most laughs (and the biggest splash, thank you very much). In high school and college, I never had a desire to do the Spring Break thing, although I'm pretty sure I would've rocked the wet t-shirt contest.  

I still find it almost impossible to imagine that I'm a triathlete because it involves swimming. It has taken me eight years of participating in this sport to become an average swimmer. It wasn't long ago that swimming one continuous lap in the pool was impossible. Before I knew it, I was swimming a 1/2 mile, then 1.2 miles, then amazingly 2.4 miles in strange and murky bodies of open water.  

And now, I'm gearing up to swim four continuous miles in Lake Austin to benefit Colin's Hope. It's going to take me between 2- 2 1/2 hours. FYI--that's a long damn time to be swimming. The Ironman swim distance is 2.4 miles and I never thought I could train up to that. I'm swimming 4-5 times a week now (yay! I can swim!!) and starting to get the flow and feel of the water once again. So, yeah, my PT was right when she said it was something I could potentially train for. I'm four weeks post-op and loving every minute. 

I was so caught up in my own eureka moment when she mentioned the swim that I didn't even notice the flash of light that came over her. She told me that I really needed to get in touch with the woman who dreamed up this charity swim. It would definitely be good for us to meet, regardless of if I did the swim. Turns out, the Event Director had hip labral tear surgery about two months before me with the same surgeon in Austin. Our stories are similar, our injuries are similar and our recovery involves testing our limits in any way we can. In fact, she concepted the charity swim while she was sitting on the couch in her CPM Machine. 

I couldn't have scripted this play better if I'd tried. Here is some of the cast of the GOT2SWIM4 TEAM benefiting Colin's Hope.  There will be about 30 swimmers and an amazing support crew of  kayakers, stand-up paddle boarders and medical personnel on hand Thursday, September 2nd.  Stay Tuned for updates from the water all summer long!

She's Got Legs...She's Remembering How to Use Them

Bye, Bye Crutches!  I've given the sticks the official heave-ho and I'm ramping up physical activity and physical therapy to new levels every day. Hot damn. Now, I can start to justify my over-active appetite. Apparently, no one told it that I'm not in "training mode." I'm going to become the first morbidly obese person who eats nothing but veggies, beans and tofu. Oh yeah-- and drinks wine. Some things in life are just too good. 

Speaking of good, my physical therapy sessions are rockin! I like to think that I'm the "model patient," but everyone in there is working hard to fix one problem or another. Hello--it's a bunch of type-A athlete types who want to get back on the court, field or bike as soon as possible. I'm not really special--just one of the many gimpy athletes who has a few holes in my leg. I was basically off crutches after 2 1/2 weeks. I would still take them to the gym or to the grocery, but mainly used them for stability...(or as a weapon if some little kid got on my nerves. )  I kid, I kid...

I'm happy to report that I had breakfast with my hipster group last Friday and everyone seems to be doing incredible at their various stages of post-op bliss! It's encouraging and important, as the 'fresh meat,' to follow their progress and ask questions along the way. One thing we noticed was just how vastly different everyone's post-op protocol has been. Granted, everyone is different and everyone's surgeries were a little different, but the differences in our recovery treatments are pretty amazing. It just reinforced to me that it's not fair to compare myself to anyone else in this process. (Although I am doing pretty flipping AMAZING!)

Hipster's Anonymous (or not so anonymous)...Labral Tear Repair Gang!

I'm now swimming four to five days a week between 2500-3500 meters a pop. About 30-40% of the time, I'm still using a pull buoy in between my legs to keep my hip stabilized. The swimming I'm doing without the buoy is focusing on form, light kicking and rotation--no speed work just yet. Holy Moly, it hurts just thinking about kicking hard and fast. I actually did my first wetsuit open water swim over the weekend. I did 2000m at an easy pace and started feeling it on the last couple hundred. That was, by far, the longest I had gone without the buoy. I felt pretty buoyant, though, in the wetsuit (or perhaps it's the extra weight I'm carrying around).  I swam with my PT, so I figured it was ok ;-).

I'm still going to PT three times per week and it should back down to two times next week. I did some strength tests today and everything is looking good. My hip flexion is now up over 120 degrees! It was 107 when I was tested two weeks ago. Awesome--that means I'm now also able to ramp up my indoor cycling time! Watch out Lance, because this little chick can now ride for 30 minutes at a time with little resistance. Yep, that's right. This Ironman who is used to riding for 5 to 6 HOURS at a stretch is now up to a whopping 30 minutes daily! I'm also able to increase that by five minute increments if I'm not aching. It must be fun being a PT because every little affirmation or mention of doing a new activity is like a little gift. It means 1.) I'm moving in the right direction and healing properly  2.) I'm able to move my body and get back to a semblance of a routine.  I received several gifts this week.

One of my favorite exercises is the Core Thrashers on the Pilates Reformer. It's always a humbling experience to work my core. Talk about exposing weaknesses. Hopefully, it will be exposing my kick-ass six pack abs soon. I also like to do the leg presses. We continue to increase resistance. I'm now over 50% of my body weight. They also work my balance and body positioning by forcing me to wear a band around my knees and a lovely pair of Birkenstocks complete with half-ball on the bottom to work my core and balance even further. Only in Austin can you work out in Birkenstocks. I love it. 

HOT LEGS!

Maintaining Balance and Proper Leg Positioning. They don't pass out free granola with the Birkenstocks. Fortunately, I get a monthly shipment thanks to Erin Bakers!!

So, all is well in recovery land. I'm doing some P90x upper body work a couple of times per week just because I can. I'm obviously not able to to run, jump or do any crazy plyometrics just yet, but I'm patiently biding my time.

Through all of this, I've definitely realized why I'm called a PATIENT. I've definitely needed a lot of it, but the patience is paying off every day. 

My "Aha Moment" Has Been Released!

Click Here to watch video of my Official 
Mutual of Omaha "Aha Moment"

Better than Tales from the Crypt

The Original "Tales from the Crypt" Guy

The New and Temporary "Tales from the Crip" Chick**

Amazing and surprising things happen when you walk around the world on crutches. Disabled people who read this probably want to smack me and say, "Duh! You have NO idea what it's like!!"  To that I humbly and graciously say, "You're right. You have my utmost respect."  I have no idea what it's like to live with a permanent disability, but being on crutches for the last few weeks has certainly given me a glimpse into the world of handicap accessibility (or lack thereof).

Most of my encounters with people are amusing. A few have been inspiring. My visits to the gym have been the best encounters by far.  The first day I hobbled into the gym, I tried to hit the handicap button which would open the door for me. It didn't work. No worries. I can push the door open and quickly hop into the building. The freakin' door was heavy as hell and it was tough to get my balance. I'm pretty sure I looked like a circle trying to squeeze into a a square peg. Fortunately, someone saw my awkward attempt at an entrance and grabbed the second door for me. That was all before I even had a chance to show them my membership card.  


First of all, I know I look sexy as hell when I walk towards the pool with my swim cap, bathing suit, towel and crutches. I get looks of condolences, no looks at all, and several "be carefuls" to which I so desperately want to jokingly respond, "If I was careful, I wouldn't be on crutches, now would I?!"   Usually, I just say, "thank you" and hobble on...


The first day I headed towards the pool, a guy who was exiting the pool asked me if my crutches were for a permanent disability. 


"No," I explained. "Thank GOD they're just temporary because of recent hip surgery."


"Oh, you're lucky," he replied. "Aren't those crutches great? They are so much easier than regular ones."


(I looked down and noticed he had tan lines on his legs where leg braces normally go. He went on to explain his permanent disability that requires him to wear braces and use crutches every day.)


We chatted a bit more and he wished me luck with my recovery. I already told him that I felt lucky because my disability was temporary. If I could've lifted my foot to insert it into my mouth, I would have. 


The next time I was at the gym in the women's locker room hobbling towards the hot sauna. A lovely woman approached me and grabbed my arm to help me along. Along the way, she warned me to be careful because it was slippery.


"God Bless You," she said. "I'll be praying for you."


"Wow...Thanks," I responded. "I need it."


"In fact, " She continued. "Hold my hand and touch my ring. I want to pray for you right now." 


Holy crap, this is slightly awkward. I'm standing in the middle of the women's locker room in a towel and crutches. Women are around us in various stages of dress drying their hair and putting on make-up.  She starts saying "The Our Father" OUT LOUD while I'm holding on to her crucifix ring! Do I close my eyes? Do I pray along with her? Do I dare look around and notice if others are staring?? I'm being prayed over in a women's locker room and you know what? It was lovely. Awkward as hell, but so very kind and lovely. 


She opened the sauna door for me and fervently told me that she would say some prayers for me. I sat in the steam room for several minutes saying some silent prayers of thanks of my own that people like that exist in this world. 


For the most part, people have been great. Kids look at me funny so I just look back. One day, I was in the locker room getting dressed while two young teen girls were putting on their makeup. Ironically, Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" was playing over the speaker. I laughed at the irony that I was their age when that song was released. Now, over 20 years later, I'm on crutches proving that that song has more longevity than I do. 


Needless to say, I'm relieved that my time with the sticks is hopefully coming to a close this week. My physical therapy is going great and my leg feels stronger every day. I definitely learned some valuable lessons along the way though! More than ever, I want to thank those who opened doors for me (literally) and those who told me I was a bad-ass for being at the gym in my compromised state.  Trust me, I didn't want to be anywhere else!


**Meaning absolutely NO offense to those that physically challenged! Humor me, please.

Go With The Flow

"I went for a hike yesterday!"

"Whatchu talkin' about Willis?!"  (In light of his recent passing, I'd like to give props to Gary Coleman) "Seriously, you did what??"


Yep, I went for a small hike yesterday at Pedernalas Falls 40 miles outside of Austin. Granted, it wasn't a strenuous hike by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a wonderful treat to get outside and take part in a "Hike and Heal Retreat" hosted by Wendy De Rosa.

Ironically, the hiking was secondary to the healing portion of the day. We walked down (or, in my case, hobbled down) a path of rocks to the banks of Pedernales Falls. We found a wonderful shaded tree in the sand near the banks of the river, sat down and just listened...Wendy led us on a guided meditation to clear our minds and focus on the flowing water. She talked about the energy healing we can do within our body. Sounds pretty hippy trippy doesn't it?!  It totally was!! But, it was so peaceful and relaxing as well. It's all about letting go and "going with the flow"...figuratively and literally.

First of all, how many times do we allow ourselves to just lie down and literally "go with the flow?" Um...if you're like me, the answer is "never." We're too obsessed with doing something, changing something, creating something, or judging something that we can't just sit in non-judgemental stillness and "be." Or, at the very least, slow our lives down even for a minute.

My surgery and subsequent rehab over the last few weeks has been a lesson in humility, patience, slowing down and "going with the flow." I physically am not able rush through my day. Every step is a conscious decision. Even my physical therapy is slow and methodical as I essentially build a new foundation for my body. I can't go out and run 26.2 miles (like I did three weeks ago--hee hee). I can barely walk properly. In essence, I'm "going with the flow" and once I surrendered to that, life got a heck of a lot easier.

Ironically, when I got home yesterday, I was inspired to read the book. "My Stroke of Insight" by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D.  . I first heard of this book about a year ago while listening to an Oprah Radio podcast with the author. Dr. Taylor was a Harvard schooled brain scientist when, at the age of 37 (my age now), had a stroke that affected her left hemisphere. The book is about her description of what happened that morning as her body and mind started to deteriorate without her control. Because she is a brain scientist, she instinctively knew what was happening, but couldn't stop the effects of the hemorrhage. It chronicles the steps she took to get help, as well as the long process of physical and mental recovery. It's her description of "going with the flow" with an impaired existence.

In any event, my Mother-in-Law had brought this book last week and I picked it up yesterday and started reading it. I read it in a few hours. Needless to say, I was drawn by the parallel themes of this book, my rehab, and the morning's relaxation by the water. "Going with the flow" means to slow down, stop judging, and realize that we are all connected to nature and each other. Essentially, it means to shut the left side of our brain down for a while that analyzes and critiques everything,  and focus on the right side that simply feels.

Easier said than done, right?? Hell, yes it is. But, that's precisely why we need to grant ourselves permission every now and then to get a little hippy trippy and simply "Go With the Flow."

Moving Forward in Slow Motion

You give me an inch and I'm going to take a mile.

I made contact with Mitch Thrower with Triathlete Magazine a few weeks ago in response to a piece that he wrote. I shared a little about what I'm going through now and he graciously responded with kind words of encouragement. He also told me to make sure I record my journey.

This past weekend was a rough one for whatever reason. While most were enjoying an extra day off from work on Memorial Day, I was on the couch barely able to lift my head. I have no idea exactly what happened, but I finally felt how I thought I was supposed to feel all along. On Saturday, we had breakfast with the Stanfords and then Shawn and I took a day trip to Schulenburg, Texas to admire the "Painted Churches" in the area. We capped it off with a semi-meal at Senglemann Dance Hall.  I woke up Sunday and felt perfectly fine. Stephanie picked me up and I headed down to Auditorium Shores to watch some friends take part in the annual "Doggy Du!"  OK--it was hilarious to watch some of these dogs jump in the water, swim 10 feet and then turn around like, "Hell No I'm not doing this!" After breakfast at Galaxy Cafe, I went home to take my place on the couch with the leg CPM Machine. Within an hour, I had a wave a nausea, headache and fatigue that went on for the next 24 hours. It was like I ran smack into a brick wall. Every time I would try to sit up, I felt dizzy and sick. Even my leg was acting up and producing new sharp pains. Crazy and awful...I felt miserable and lethargic all day Monday as well. I tried to find the energy to get off the couch and just sit outside, but I couldn't do it.  To this minute, I'm not sure if it was a touch a food poisoning, my body's reaction to too much activity, or a reaction to the anti-inflammatories. It passed on Tuesday and I've been relatively back to normal since my post-op appointment on Tuesday.

Either way, I'm so relieved to finally beginning a normal existence again. I'm allowed to drive, which is huge. I'm also allowed to do a little weight bearing while still using the crutches as an aid. I drove myself to my first official post-op physical therapy appointment this morning. For the first two weeks, my PT consisted of sitting my ever-expanding ass in the CPM machine and watching my leg move up and down from 0 degrees to 90 degrees for 6+ hours a day. Today, it was great to finally get out and GO SOMEWHERE. This appointment consisted mostly of taking measurements of my flexibility and formulating my timeline.

Right now, my external hip rotation is at 36 degrees (It was 44 degrees pre-op). She wants to see me close to 50 degrees.  Also, my hip extension is at a measly 5 degrees and she wants it to be somewhere in the 10-20 degree range. I was already able to lift my knee to my chest (lying down) up to 107 degrees. (Thank you CPM machine) and I can also put all the weight on my bad leg with no pain. I'll be seeing her 3 times per week for two weeks and then 2 times per week after that. My long range goal is to be starting to run again within 8 weeks. Now, it will be light and easy running, but running nonetheless. None of that will happen, however, until my core and glute region is strengthened enough to do proper single leg squats multiple times.  Until then, I've been give some clearance to MOVE!!! 15 minutes of pool walking and swimming with pull buoy. I'm also able to get on my bike and do specific pedal stroke practice for 10 minutes 3x per day. I also have some core work to do to fill up my day because, frankly, I'm getting tired of Oprah and Dr. Oz.

I haven't even made progress yet and I felt like a proud graduate today. It was as if I passed my first two weeks of post-op recovery with flying colors and I can now move on to the good stuff. I finished my appetizer and am headed straight to the buffet line...

In my case, the buffet line is Lifetime Fitness. I left the PT office and headed straight to the pool because, of course, I was carrying my goggles and suit "just in case" she said it was ok....

Evil ;-)

Just because it's from Whole Foods, doesn't mean it's healthy. Thank you, TriGreyhound, for identifying my weak spot for sweets. Add a week of recovery for each container of white chocolate, dark chocolate and gumdrops!

I'll Have You in Stitches (Or Out of Them!)

I'm definitely not bringing sexy back, but I am one step closer to being active once again. The sutures came out today and I've been given clearance to make baby steps back towards humanity!

**WARNING** If you don't like stitches coming out, don't scroll down!!  **WARNING**

This was my first view of the arthroscopic wounds

And they're coming out...

Trying my best to relax!

Thanks to my Mother-in-Law for driving me to the appointment! 

You Know You're Injured When...

Brutus is now using my crutches as a pillow. He's obviously getting
used to my lifestyle.

It's Been One Week...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU

It's hard to believe it's only been a week and 2 days since the hip surgery. In one respect, it feels like forever since I've been a slave to the couch and the CPM machine. By the same token,  I'm amazed at my activity level in the last week. I can't thank my friends and family enough for being here physically and emotionally. I'm grateful for the visits, phone messages, emails, texts from people who are "in the neighborhood" and want to know if I need anything, the food deliveries, the chauffeurs who stop by and take me to lunch and to doctor's appointments and hubster for the wonderful anniversary afternoon of food, shopping and picnicking. It may be hotter than hell already, but just getting out of the house feels like a mini-retreat. In the last week, I've been able to venture out to do a lap on the track (with crutches, of course), Whole Foods a couple of times, lunch with former co-workers, and I even got out to meet my T3 group last night for the unveiling of our Ironman Coeur D'Alene video from 2009.  Ironic that I was gearing up for an Ironman one year ago and now I'm not allowed to put weight on my leg. Actually, it was about this time last year that I was going to see Dr. Sellers complaining of numbness and pain in my quad/hip flexor region. Today, I get to get out of the house again and head to my very first official physical therapy appointment. Needless to say, I'm grateful for any opportunity to move and make forward progress.

I've checked off a lot of those "when I have some free time" projects too this past week...catching up on shows, magazines, blogs, emails and other non-essentials that can clutter our existence. I've written three articles this week for Livestrong.com and I'm thinking ahead and mentally manifesting goals and dreams for 2011. Lord knows, I have plenty of time to visualize, reach out to mentors, and do some goal-setting meditations.

Man, it sounds like I've had the most amazing week of catching up and regrouping. It has been wonderful, but I have to be honest, I also catch myself getting a little down and suffering a bit of anxiety. As an intrinsically self-motivated person, it really is difficult to just "be" and not "do." There are some moments when I slip into a bit of a panic..."I'm not doing enough...I'm lazy...I'm getting fat...I'm not contributing...people are judging me...I'm judging myself...I should be working...I should be doing SOMETHING..." I believe they call it good old-fashioned GUILT.  While I'm essentially on my butt all day, hubster is getting up, going to work, saving a few lives, coming home, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and fetching things for me when I ask. I know I've reached my tolerance level, but I keep thinking he'll hit his limit any moment now. Does any of this sound familiar? I suppose that's why, even now, I still create a daily "to-do" checklist. At the end of the day, I like to know that I'm accomplishing something...Even if that something is simply taking a shower.

So, needless to say, it's been a topsy-turvy week of emotion. For the rest of the world, it's a much-needed three day weekend. For me, it's three more days of recovery. The Capital of Texas Triathlon is this weekend so I hope to get out and spectate. Nothing will inspire me more.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

A Day in the Life...

I'm not gonna lie. Sitting here on the couch doing nothing totally blows. My experience over the last week has been a mundane combination of waking, hobbling downstairs (which I've now mastered, thank you very much), making coffee and a semblance of breakfast, and then retreating to the couch where I watch my leg move up and down in the CPM Machine while catching up on episodes of "Glee" and "Dr. Oz."  I read,  write articles, spend way too much time on Facebook and challenge my literary skills with multiple games of "Words with Friends." After about 3-4 hours of that excitement, I get up and spend about an hour making lunch, all the while wondering how I could possibly be hungry since I burned ZERO calories sitting on my butt (thank goodness I have a decent basal metabolic rate). The afternoon is spent doing much of the same. Even my cats think I'm being a bit lazy. Yeah--these guys.

For exercise, I climb the stairs on my crutches, shower and brush my teeth. Whew...exhausting. I sit in our steam shower for 15 minutes at 105 degrees just to remember what it was like to do yoga. Unfortunately, I can't really bend over and do "standing head to knee" or "rabbit pose" right now. I sit in the sauna and basically talk to myself (and whoever is getting a good laugh from up above).  My afternoons are spent back in the leg machine and catching up with friends by phone and email. I can't thank you enough for reaching out to make sure I'm alive and sane. I'm definitely alive. I can't speak for my sanity.  This view gets a little boring...and reminds me that I need a good shave and pedicure.

On a positive note, I've written a couple of good articles, finished a book, started my Training Peaks coaching tutorial and have made contact for potential future writing endeavors.  I also get 9+ hours of sleep a night and, so far, my leg/hip feels awesome. I actually start some physical therapy this week and my first follow up with the surgeon is next week. I can only hope this means I'll have some independence soon. By independence, I mean to say that I hope I'll actually be able to drive myself places and walk up and down stairs without a crutch. Soon enough, I'll be able to get in a pool and move my legs back and forth. I've never been so excited about aqua jogging in all my life. I have to convince myself that I haven't become the pile of fluffy goo that my body feels like right now. Sad, isn't it? Less than one week after running my final "marathon," I feel like a chubby sloth. The mind can play cruel tricks sometimes.

Thanks to friends and hubster, I've had some wonderful outings. I actually did a lap on the track a couple of days ago and met some friends at Whole Foods for my first scooter adventure! Michelle came by on Saturday and gave me some wonderful downtime material (trashy romance novel and chick flicks!!) Most people would kill for this meditative and reflective time. I just hope it doesn't kill me first.

Until then, I'll just keep jumping these little hurdles one at a time...

Because that's how I roll!!