About Me

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Austin, Texas, United States
I'll make you laugh, or break my neck trying. This is usually accomplished with daily bouts of swimming, biking and running. A former "chub-a-holic," I got fit and healthy the good old fashioned way and went from a mid-pack athlete to top age group runner and triathlete. I'm a Writer and USAT Level 1 Certified Triathlon Coach. I guess that makes me part Tina Fey and part Jillian Michaels. Visit my coaching site at www.fomotraining.com

Friday, July 02, 2010

Holy Crap, I'm Sue Sylvester

A few weeks ago, my neighbor and a couple of his buddies hired me to train them for the Longhorn 70.3 race in October. This week, I've met them on the bike, at the pool and on the track to do some baseline aerobic testing. It dawned on me this morning that I've become the politically incorrect and somewhat ambiguous Sue Sylvester from "Glee."

They've only seen me in some modified "coachy" outfit consisting of my usual Nike running shorts, Ironman emblazoned shirt and some baseball hat or visor brilliantly disguised to cover my bedhead and makeup-less face.

Pretty soon, I'll be busting out quotes like some of Sylvester's finest:

"I will no longer be carrying around photo ID. Know why? People should know who I am."

-or when I become an award winning coach-

"You know, for me trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flair ups of burning itchy highly contagious talent."

-or, if they complain about a workout being too difficult-

You think this hard. I'm passing a gallstone as we speak. That is hard!

Hang on, boys. You're being coached by a tough chick. And you'll like it. 


greyhound said...

Even worse, you're a vegan Sue Sylvester. At least she has the redeeming quality of eating red meat. Doesn't she?

Mandy said...

I just wanted to say thanks for writing this blog. I am scheduled for a hip arthroscopy for a labral tear on July 20th and after all of the scary tales out there, I found your blog an honest, funny breath of fresh air! I resemble your former chubby self more than your current fit self, but earlier this year I had lost 15 lbs and was feeling great and then the tear happened on the elliptical machine. UGH. I look forward to following this blog and hope my recovery and more importantly attitude, can be as good as yours. Thanks again!