My "Aha" Moment

What if you were given the chance to tell the world one of your "aha moments?"  I'm talking about sitting down in front of a video camera and telling the story about a pivotal moment in your life that pretty much changed everything for you. What would you say? What would I say?

It was most definitely a serendipitous "cosmic coincidence" (which isn't a coincidence at all) that I received the following email last Monday, May 17th on my 37th birthday...two days before my hip surgery. 

I work for the company that is producing Mutual of Omaha’s “proud sponsor of life’s aha moments” campaign– visit www.ahamoment.com<http://www.ahamoment.com>  to see what an aha moment is and the great real stories we filmed during the campaign in 2009.

Associated to that, we have a 34-foot Airstream mobile film studio that is traveling the US on a 25-city tour to capture the country’s aha moments. We are headed to Austin this  Thursday, May 20th & Friday, May 21st, and would love to invite you  to share what lead you to lose 60 pounds & focus on your health, and how your life has changed since. I came across your blog, and think you would have a great story to share! You would just have to step into the Airstream studio for a few minutes and tell your story on film, which would be posted to www.ahamoment.com <http://www.ahamoment.com> . 

 Me?? Step in front of a camera to tell a story about, well...ME?? Aw shucks...I could NEVER do that. ha ha... The problem was--there was a good chance that I wouldn't be able to do it. I was going to be two days post-op and I had no idea what condition, shape, mood, or pain I'd be in on Friday.  I can't drive right now so my parents would have to drive me downtown, find a parking spot and help me get to the airstream trailer studio (which I now covet). Surely, I didn't want to be the surly girl on vicodin who gets on camera and says, "Yeah, I got myself in shape, but I also tore my hip in the process of doing it, too!"


Nope, I wanted to be the inspirational Carrie who imparts life-changing wisdom and humor on whoever hears and sees it. Of course, it's wisdom of common knowledge...believe in yourself, set goals, achieve them, repeat, repeat, repeat... They asked me to talk about what it was like to run my first marathon. Looking back, I've had several "aha moments" in life. Haven't we all? The www.ahamoment.com website describes them as: a moment of clarity, a defining moment where you gain real wisdom - wisdom you can use to change your life. Whether big or small, funny or sad, they can be surprising and inspiring. Each one is unique, deeply personal, and we think, worth sharing.


Why was running my first marathon such a major "aha moment" for me?  The list of reasons seems endless, but can be summed up simply as empowerment. It was the missing prop that now dresses my current stage. I felt like superwoman when I crossed that line.  Truly, Wholly Invincible.  About two dozen of my co-workers secretly had t-shirts printed up and were wearing them at various points along the course. They knew how hard I worked for this and were there on race day from start to finish. It truly taught me the power of self-confidence and self-actualization. I think it was the first time when something that seemed "impossible" to me became "possible." Not only did it become possible, it became real. I began to respect myself. And, THAT, I believe is the actual "aha moment."

Once I gained self-respect, everything became possible including coaching, stand-up comedy, pursuing other fitness endeavors, changing jobs, and eventually finding the man of my dreams and creating a team that far exceeds ANYTHING that I ever thought possible. 


So, that is what I shared with the film crew on Friday as I hobbled my way into the mobile studio and recounted my moment. During a time when I'm admittedly feeling a little down and sorry for myself, it was good to hear a positive, uplifting and hopeful message. It was even better to know that the message was MINE.


Here's to many more "aha moments!"

My favorite race photo and "aha moment" in the making!

(I still have the infamous "Run Bitch Run" sign :-)

Day #4 Post-Op: Permanent Couch Imprint Forming

I broke a sweat today. Well, sort of...I sat in our steam shower for 10 minutes at 105 degrees just to feel the heat, to feel my heart rate beat a little faster, to sweat out the toxins from the last few days, to feel alive. Certainly not the workout I'm accustomed to, but I'll take it. Of course, I also look like a complete idiot because I have to wrap a trash bag around my hip/leg/butt to not get the bandages too wet. So, yeah, I look like a creepy naked adult wearing an abnormally large plastic diaper. Sexy, no?

In the 3 1/2 years we've lived in this house, I don't think I've been on the couch as long as I have since coming home from the surgery center on Wednesday. I'm trying to enjoy the downtime, but I'm not enjoying the bloating, distended belly and constipation that has also come as a result of the surgery. As if I don't feel crappy enough (pun intended), now I have to look in the mirror at a somewhat swollen version of myself. I certainly hope that lovely little side effect goes away soon because it is doing nothing for my self-esteem right now.

I still keep waiting for the major pain to kick in, but it hasn't. I'd say at Day four, that's a good sign. In fact, I totally feel like I could put weight on this leg, but I dare NOT! The most pain I feel happens to be from the blisters that have formed on the palms of my hands from the handles on the crutches. I'm actually using a pair of cycling gloves now. I prefer to call them my "driving gloves" because it makes me feel fancy and decadent--not pathetic and useless. I also walk around the house with a backpack in case I need to transport books, water, phone to different rooms. Basically, I'm sporting the barefoot hiker look.

Cooking is a bit of a chore, but that's no different than it was when I had use of both legs and arms! God Bless Whole Foods and their vast array of options. I've probably been overdoing it a bit the last couple of days. Lots of trips up and down the stairs, in and out of cars, getting up and sitting down, etc. Almost laughable that these little things are considered "overdoing" it. Damn, I have a birthday and fall to pieces in one week.  I said "goodbye" to my Mom and Dad this morning. I'm sure this wasn't their ideal vacation, but it was a huge help having my Mama nearby to help shower me, dress me and do laundry for the first couple of days until I got it all figured out. Hubster is, as per usual, a saint and master of patience. And my kitties...what would I do without their love and mounds of fur? I spent the first two nights on the couch and they were right there with me. I think they're loving my couch time more than I am!

Let the fun continue and the bloating cease. Next up? A little vino with my girl Michelle. She knows how to lift my spirits!

Sympathy recovery

My boys are recovering right next to me on my makeshift couch/bed.

Day #1 Post-op: I'm Officially a Hipster

The Sheep Heading to the Slaughterhouse...

Thanks to Muna for the awesome crutches!

Nothing like running a marathon and then having a hip scope the next day! I'm sure 9 out of 10 physicians would NOT have recommended this (like they do everything else), but it was therapy for my mind and emotional well-being.

Where I'll be chillin' for the next couple of weeks

I'm currently sitting on the couch (command central) as the CPM Machine moves my leg up and down. So far, so good. On a pain scale of 1 to 10, I'm feeling about a 2. Just some stiffness and mild discomfort. I keep thinking that the horrible pain will start any minute now, but I consider myself healthy and blessed that I've been relatively pain free. I haven't really tried to maneuver the steps up to my bedroom yet, but I'm going to have to today to wash the stink off my body and grit from my teeth.

The surgeon spoke with Shawn and then called me last night to make sure everything was going well. Right now, I'm deliriously optimistic. He trimmed down all of the loose cartilage around the tear, including some strange looking appendage that was dangling there. The Doc told Shawn he's never really seen that with a labral tear. Needless to say, he cut it off! He also shaved down my hip socket as he noticed a Pincer Impingement that more than likely caused the tear. Basically, the hip socket gets in the way of the ball joint and the rub creates the inflammation and subsequent tear.  (see pic below) I'm ironically relieved that the Surgeon did find pretty major damage. I had visions of him getting in there and going, "Oh, it's not that bad. This probably isn't causing all of your pain."  Needless to say, that's probably not the case.

I'm taking it as a good sign that, 1) he said everything went great  2) He didn't say, "You can never run again."  I start PT next week, but no driving for a few weeks.

As my friend Muna said, yesterday's surgery was the low point. From here on out for the next couple of months, I get to rehab, recover and get stronger ! Here's to a new and improved hip!

All smiles in the pre-op room

Looking totally stoned in the recovery room

And There You Have It...

My personal 26.2 mile journey one day before hip surgery. I can't say
it was pretty, but it sure was lovely. Thanks to those I saw who gave
me much-needed shots of adrenaline. It wasn't my PR or a Boston
qualifier, but I'll take it.

26.2 Miles of Gratitude, Hope and Lunacy

Three years ago on my birthday I was a week away from getting married. Two years ago, I was in Tuscany, Italy sipping vino and eating pizza. Last year, I was in Napa sipping even more wine and gearing up for my second Ironman. This year, I'm hanging with my parents and in-laws in Austin gearing up for hip surgery! Oh, how times have changed :-)What a difference a year makes, eh?

I'm excited and nervous. In one respect, I feel like an injured animal. I want to run away, crawl under a bush and hide from everyone and everything. But, like most injured animals, I still have a little feral fight in me. Before I give up, I want to attack just one more time.

On my birthday run this morning, I decided that my last fight will be a 26.2 mile jog Tuesday morning to celebrate life, health, and new beginnings. Running is what started it all for me, after all. I would give up darn near everything to be able to run pain-free again. Call me overdramatic, but I can't think of a better way to go into surgery than with one last marathon under my belt. If surgery doesn't go well, at least I'll know I ran one last 26.2 jaunt on the life-saving trail of Lady Bird Lake. If all goes as perfectly as expected, I'll have a new time to beat :) (which shouldn't be a problem).

If you're out and about tomorrow morning, join me for a few easy miles. I have no choice but to take it easy. I haven't run more than 15 miles since last July! I'll probably leave my house around 5:30am and head straight to the Lake so that I'm done before it gets too hot. That way, I can spend the rest of the day with my parents prepping my house and my mind for what is about to come.

So, here's to living life to it's fullest and giving the surgeon something to do on Wednesday morning! I want to be able to tell him, "I ran a marathon yesterday! Now, fix my hip, dude, because I've got a lot more of these planned!"

Walk a Mile in My Shoes

Lost in thought...

This picture doesn't even come close to showing just how high I was 

In a former life (and I know I've had a few), I was a total Mountain Mama. Earth chick. Rock Climber. Probably even some form of mountain animal. Who knows... Every single time I step foot in the mountains, I feel like I'm coming home. I can't even describe it adequately. I know as a flatlander originally from Ohio, it REALLY doesn't make sense, but then again, most intuitive things don't make sense. You just KNOW them to be the truth.

Modeling my Pearl Izumi syncroFuel XC Trail Shoes...So NOT sexy

In addition to watching Richard and several other Austin friends totally rock Ironman St. George, we also turned it into a National Parks vacation visiting some of the wonders of the U.S. including Zion National Park, Bryce Canyon, Arches National Park, Canyonlands Nations Park and Snow Canyon State Park. When we weren't hiking among the world's most beautiful scenery, we were seeking out trails in and around the St. George and Moab areas. I know Austin has a great Greenbelt system, but it was nothing compared to walking out of our St. George house and hitting wonderful trails just a few steps away. As I tried to describe to others, I felt like I was a character running around in someone's painting...like, here was this palette of perfection and I was somehow in the middle of it pretending to be "trail runner girl."  I guess I wasn't really pretending. I did have some spectacular trail runs and my legs were doing great thanks to my Pearl Izumi syncroFuel XC trail shoes. They arrived literally the day before we left for Utah and I've never worn these shoes before. Rookie mistake #1, right?? Never run in shoes you haven't broken in...oh well!  I went on a couple of small hikes in them and then did about 4-5 great road/trail runs with absolutely no problems. I'm now anxious to try out their road shoes since the trail shoes were so comfortable, light and flexible. I highly recommend giving them a try if you are into trail running. Just being out there completely reignited my love for running amongst the rocks, hills and trees. Maybe I was a squirrel in a past life?! Or a cheetah?! Or a turtle...

The other fun shoe I tried were my Vibram Five Fingers! I still haven't attempted a run in them, but decided to hike in them at Bryce Canyon. They were quite the topic of many glances and conversations that day. Lots of Europeans were hiking and I would catch them staring at my feet as we passed by and then I would hear them launch into some kind of French or German chatter immediately after passing. I'm sure it was something to the effect of, "What the hell is she wearing--Stupid American Girl!"

Trail shoes or five-fingered slippers, Southern Utah was brilliant. I highly recommend this vacation if you truly want to get away and bask in the glory of Mother Nature. We timed it perfectly too because the weather wasn't too hot and the parks weren't crowded at all. I know I could've easily stayed in the area for another month to do some rafting, cycling and more hiking/running. Alas, reality calls home every time.

Strangely enough, it's time to put my trail shoes and vibrams away for awhile. I'm glad we spent precious time together out in the hills. It's only a matter of time before we reconnect and share more runs. For now, I'm off to take a walk down a different path of restoration and healing. Let it begin!

Perhaps I Should Move to Japan :-)

My in-laws just got back from a vacation to Japan and they thought of me...Glad to know I've made some kind of impression :-) Tofu Doughnuts?!?! Even I'm a little leery of that one!

I do love my green smoothies...

and a Mini-Honda Element called "My Box!"  (Hell, if the name iPad works, why not My Box?!)

Must. Have. My. Box.

Do You Work?

Since I quit my full-time office job last Fall, so many people have asked things like, "What are you going to do now???" and "How will you keep yourself busy??" (As if I sit sluggishly on the couch every day and wait for my mani/pedi).  I stated from the get-go that I had two main goals:  become a certified USA Triathlon Coach and do some freelance writing.

Well, after a weekend of classes in Tucson back in March and a comprehensive exam, this came in the mail last week:

And, since February, I've been a freelance writer for www.livestrong.com.  

I've had about 20 articles published on various topics including:

Effects of Youth Sports

Side Effects of Oregano Tea

Definition of Body Mass Index

...to name a few


You'll never reach your goals if you don't set them. And this is only the beginning...

Apparently, I'm channeling my inner Snow White and having a lovely
conversation with a Zion National Park Squirrel.

What could we possibly be talking about?!

Change is a good thing.

Change is part of life and happens to everyone.

Change is an opportunity for me to grow.

Change always means something good is around the corner.

Change brings new people, new opportunities and new perspectives.

Change helps strengthen my self-reliance, inner fortitude and inner faith that I can handle anything.

Change is never a punishment.

Change allows me to learn or understand something new.

Change reminds me to let go and surrender a little more to life. 

-Ariane de Bonvoison's "Change Manifesto-An Optimist's Beliefs About Change" from 

The First 30 Days: Your Guide To Making Any Change Easier

Ironman Texas 70.3--A Little Recap

Caked in salt and smiles

I think I had a pivotal shift after the Ironman Texas 70.3 race in Galveston this past weekend. I hung around for much of the awards ceremony and was in awe of the podium finishers both young and old (a few were T3 teammates!). What made it interesting was that instead of wishing I was as young and fast as the young chicks, I found myself hoping to be as strong and beautiful and amazing as the women in the older age groups...(that I'm continually creeping closer to each year). These women don't get older. They just get more powerful and strong-willed and determined to be the best they can be regardless of age. THAT was inspiring and that was an incredibly important lesson I took away from this past weekend.

Swim:
Lots of people have been talking about how hard the race was in Galveston. They're right. Was it the hardest race ever?? Nah...I'll reserve that one for St. George. It was tough certainly. It had its challenges. It's a Half-Ironman. It's supposed to be hard!! The swim was particularly difficult because of the direction of the wind. My age group started over an hour after the pros, so the wind gusts were even more mighty before my little butt jumped in the murky, brown, salt water of Galveston Bay...yummy. It wasn't a swim of technique or form. Every Masters workout I've attended was negated by the conditions. Truly, it was a swim of mental strength and perseverance. For the "long" stretch, it felt like every stroke was followed by a wave that seemed to lift me up and push me back about five feet. I never felt nervous or panicked. I just started to get mentally frustrated saying boogerish things like, "Can we just get this crap over with so I can get on my bike?" (You know it's bad when I'm looking forward to the bike).  I got blown off course slightly a few times, but nothing major... In a swim that would normally take 36-38 minutes for this Little Miss Mid-Pack, I exited the water after a laughable 44 minutes.

I actually do think I was laughing having just looked at my shiteous time. 

Best Part of the Day: The Wetsuit Strippers!!!

Bike: 
When you're on a hilly course, you want a flat course. When you're on a flat course, you want a hilly course...The grass is always greener, eh? The course truly is a pancake flat out-and-back right along the seawall of the Texas Gulf Coast. Road conditions were average with stretches of awesome pavement and not-so-awesome chip seal. I rode the first half very conservatively...on purpose. We were in a headwind. I spent the first half thinking, "I can't wait to turn around and coast this puppy back to transition with the tailwind."  I thought I'd easily be able to average 22-23 mph on the way back. WRONG.  True to what everyone else is moaning about, it really did seem like a headwind on the way back to town too. We'll call it even and just say it was a powerful crosswind. I did negative split the thing mainly because I was nowhere near the goal time I originally wanted (thinking I'd get that tailwind). So, yeah, I tried to kick it up a notch on the way back to town.   Form fatigue and wind exhaustion kicked in around mile 45. You'd see people standing up and coasting on their bikes just to change position. I, myself, came out of aero just to make sure my back and hip were still working. I was definitely feeling pinches of deep pain in my bad hip (almost 3 hours of time trialing will do that). I was also feeling general weakness in my hip flexors. Again, I think it was just form fatigue.   I got my overall average up to 19.4 before the last mile that slowed me down just a tad.  Not bad, but I was honestly positive I could go over 20mph. Damn cross winds!!

Kinda looking like a real cyclist

Run: 
I turned the four mind-numbing loopty loops into a mental game of "I Spy." The T3 tent was positioned right out of transition so I was lifted by hi-fives and screams every loop from tons of those guys. You have no idea how much that can do for a mind that is bordering on apathy. I also got to the point where I knew where friends were stationed. Suzanne and George were in one spot. Chris Marquette and Coach Liz were on the back side. Michelle, Charles and Mo were wandering and full of positive affirmations. (Or just plain, "Keep Running, Bitch!") Plus, it was impossible to go more than a few hundred yards without seeing someone I knew. If I wasn't acknowledging them, they were acknowledging me. Caught a glimpse of Michelle Jones who was cheering on us lowly age groupers. I think I even said, "That's Not Fair" as she was standing under a shaded tree with a medal around her neck and a bottle of water in her hand. I still had 9 or so miles to go.

What can I say about the run? I tried to play it conservatively and hope for a huge kick on the last loop. It didn't happen, but I'm still incredibly proud and happy with my residual fitness. I ended up averaging 8:16s for the whole Half Marathon. I have to remember (and remind myself repeatedly) that I've done NO run specific training besides going out and running a few miles here and there. I've done NO track workouts since last Spring. I've done NO hill repeat workouts. I haven't even practiced my "fast finish" runs like I normally do. In fact, on most runs, I cool down the last mile so that my leg/hip won't lock up. While my hip was aching a bit, I was actually suffering more with an occasional quad or calf cramp that would kick in whenever I tried to speed up. I certainly felt like my nutrition included enough sodium (including about 10-12 salt tabs during the day.) I took three gels with extra sodium. I was even drinking Gatorade (ick). Still, though, I was in the very beginning stages of little cramps. You'll notice my splits were reflective of that little annoyance.

The best part of the weekend BY FAR was simply being in the presence of so many amazing friends and athletes. The whole race felt like a tidal wave of emotion as I ebbed and flowed throughout the entire 5 hours and 32 minutes. The energy surrounding these types of events is certainly contagious to those who are fortunate to witness them. I always get those "Yep--this is EXACTLY where I belong" feelings when I finish a race. Of course, I also have the "Why the hell am I doing this again?!" feelings before each race.  I found myself looking at the Texas Gulf Coast (as brown and murky as it was) and felt so blessed to be there. God knows I had enough time to reflect while riding. This year alone, I've been able to do two Half-Ironmans on the coastlines of two major oceans. I'm witness the wonders of the world, both in nature and in what my body is able to accomplish. For that, I am so utterly grateful and fulfilled and satisfied.

So here's the official breakdown... I ended up 15th out of 90ish people in my age group. Yep--pretty good for a chick who hasn't really trained. It really pumped me up for what is to come...I know it's there.

And here's just a sampling of what made it AWESOME!!

Now, it's on to St. George, Utah to cheer for Richard and others who are tackling what really will be THE HARDEST RACE EVER!  

Sweat much??

There was so much sweat and salt caked on me, I'm pretty sure my tri
kit could get up and walk away on its own after the race this weekend!

Overall time 5:32:00
15th out of 99 in age group

Race reflections coming soon. I'm still spitting out brown salt water
from Galveston Bay.

How to Make Someone's Day

I saw my T3 teammate, Kelley, this morning before my last swim at
Barton Springs before this weekend's Half-Ironman.

When I went to leave, I found this note on my windshield. That, my
friends, is the kind of wonderful people this sport attracts.

Hey Kelley--you're pretty damn awesome yourself! Kick butt in Galveston!

Last "Race Week" for a While!

Let's make it a good one!

My hip scope surgery is one month from today...Yikes. It's still a bit unreal that I'll be going from Ironman to not being able to walk BY CHOICE! This has been a long time coming, though, as my family, friends and coaches will tell me...I've been battling the mysterious leg numbing, hip pain, back pain, piriformis stress, foot pain, hip joint stabbing, groin burning, physical therapy, foam rolling, and mind-altering mood swings for a year now.

I look forward to the day when I can do track workouts and hill repeats again (I know...psycho). I look forward to training for a marathon and qualifying for Boston again! The Boston Marathon was today and I was slightly inspired to run fast again!

In an odd way, I'm also looking forward to starting over from the beginning and training smarter...whatever that means...more strength building, flexibility, core work...building a better foundation. I get to play the newbie card again!!  I want Phase Two of this journey to be about The Journey.  Will I focus on time goals? Of course!  Will I focus intensely on getting faster? Naturally...I want to do it, though, as a student of the sport and not a trained robot who will decompress if I don't hit all of my training hours. (Ok--no promises, here). I guess I just want to feel like I've learned something from all of this. I've already learned that my long-term health is way more important than any short term goal. I've learned that there will always be another chance and another race. I've learned that there is just some pain that you can't push through. I've learned that setting goals is great, but setting SMART goals is even better. I've learned that rest and recovery is good...Damn good.

So, I'm heading into my race this weekend feeling so very grateful, nervous, excited and ready to lay it all out there on the course. Why?? Because in a month, I'll be laying it all out there on the couch!

Such a Wonderful Example of Joy

Just yesterday, Austin hosted a Kid's Triathlon and The Austin American Statesman featured this little boy as he completed the race in under 30 minutes!  All of the photos and the story are featured HERE.  It's certainly one of the most heartwarming and inspiring things I've seen in a while and serves as a much-needed reminder

1.) Even those with limitations have no limits.

2.) My little hip surgery means nothing. I am able-bodied and capable. 

3.) Finishing times and PRs are inconsequential. It's all about courage and determination to get to the start and finish lines. 

4.) Anything is possible and there really are no excuses.

Photo Credits: (Ralph Barrera AMERICAN-STATESMAN)

Reason Why Hubster and I Will Never Be Pro Athletes...

...and I'm o.k. with that as long as I never have to give up this...

Berkeley, San Francisco and Sonoma were, once again, amazing! In addition to copious amounts of vino and chocolate, we also indulged at some wonderful vegetarian restaurants including Gratitude Cafe, Herbivore, Seed, Plant and Ubuntu in Napa. Yes, I couldn't make up restaurants like, "Seed" and "Plant." The only places missing were "Berries" and "Twigs" apparently.

So many good wineries and so little time. We will be back...and it may or may not involve the Vineman 70.3 Half-Ironman. I'm actually thinking of creating "Wineman." It has a much better ring to it, don't you think?

Team Trakkers Pro Happy Hour

Team Trakkers Pro Team was in Austin and they kicked off their
training camp with a happy hour open to all! I, of course, took
advantage and brought along some Erin Baker's cookies to share. It's
official. Austin is full of a bunch of Tri Geeks and we love it!

With pro Amanda Lovato

Drew and Jack from Jack and Adam's Bike Shop